


Everyone needs a friend (Severus POV)

by acariad, Cssandra



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort, Developing Friendships, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Other, Young Hermione Granger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acariad/pseuds/acariad, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cssandra/pseuds/Cssandra
Summary: One a summer day Severus makes an unexpected friend at his old playground from his old hometown of Cokeworth.Everyone needs a friend, but Severus' point of view. (there will be a sequel at some point)
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Severus Snape
Kudos: 6
Collections: Snape Bigbang 2020





	1. Prologue

**Everyone needs a friend, Severus’ point of view**

_Betaed by Eben, I don’t know how you do it, always appearing when I’m in need, by Alex, my constant reader. And by Oni who did it silently and didn't even tell me. I appreciate all of you._

**_I am dedicating this story to one of my artists, Lia because without her support and encouragement I don't think I would have been able to finish it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart._ **

Lia also made a beautiful, beautiful drawing of Severus pushing Hermione on the swing. You can find it here: <https://acariad.tumblr.com/post/642462594107654144/created-for-the-2020-snape-big-bang-based-on-the> and also below. In case you don't want to copy the link. You should.

She's acariad on tumblr and incredibly brilliant. Check her out. She's also acariad here on ao3:))) The best artist I could ask for. As you can see, incredibly, incredibly talented. My heart melts every time I look at her drawing picture.

My second, brilliant artist finished her drawing of Severus seeing Hermione getting sorted and you can see it on the epilogue. She's hazelyn81 and she's amazing. Her tumblr acount is [https://severusis.tumblr.com/, Check her out, as I said, she's awesome!](https://severusis.tumblr.com/)

I feel very very blessed. Thank you!

Words: 11632

* * *

**Prologue**

  
  


_“I will run with you till the end of time_

_If you ask me to_

_Because you’re my friend_

_And I don’t care how long is the road to there_

_But I feel like it would be such a crime_

_To let you see the end_

_Alone, my dear darling friend_

_You took me by surprise_

_In a playground I saw the sunrise_

_Of my lonely soul_

_When I saw you sitting there next to me_

_I didn’t know you’d be_

_So important to me”_

  
  
  
  


Life is filled with choices and uncertainties. Life can be very lonely if you walk your path alone and not allow yourself to share it with someone. Friendship is one of the most beautiful feelings one can feel. _Two friends make the same sou_ l, as Aristotle once said.

Severus had given up on ever having a true friend, a long time ago. He knew Albus was a friend, but he had his own interests first, and as a Slytherin, Severus could understand that. Hadn’t he done the same with Lily? Hadn’t he chosen to get along with his housemates to survive and instead killed his only true friendship?

Severus knew he deserved to be alone. Sometimes he wished he had someone to share that joy with, but in the past few years he hadn’t allowed himself to think about it. He didn’t want to. Hogwarts kept him busy enough not to have time to dwell on such matters, it was during the summer, when he came to Cokeworth, that his thoughts wavered.

Cokeworth was the town of his childhood, and he kept coming back to Spinner’s End every year. Or almost every year. Severus didn’t know why, but it just felt right in a way. There were many memories that tied him to the little town. Some were good and majority of them bad, and painful, but he couldn’t _not_ come. It had become a tradition; perhaps his only tradition.

He came randomly for a few days and just stayed in his house and roamed around the edge of the town, near the forest. There was an old playground there and it used to be his favourite place. Because it was so close to the forest, no parents allowed their kids near it. At least in the present, anyway. Severus used to go to that playground to practice his magic before he met Lily, or to just get away from his parents after his friendship with Lily ended.

It earned him a bad reputation throughout the town; children would be warned against him. It seemed many feared him instantly. For what kind of kid spent his time alone in an old playground? Or afterwards, what sort of weirdo spent time at a children’s playground? He could never win. They feared him as an adult as much as they’d despised him as a child. Severus wasn’t completely surprised by it; at Hogwarts he did his best to be perceived as the cold, mean teacher who hated children and he supposed that it carried over. He repelled people; they were wary of him. And there was also the fact the people from Cokeworth didn’t like that he dressed in all black every day even if it was summer.

The summer of 1988 was just like any other for Severus. He’d arrived for a short break from Hogwarts and he’d spent the majority of it inside his lab at Spinner’s End. However, he couldn’t leave Cokeworth without a visit to the old playground. It looked just as he remembered from the year before and the year before that. Aged, and yet unchanged.

The house which was closest to the playground belonged to the Grangers. They were wary of him too, even if they were kind people. Their son had been one of the children who hadn’t teased him about his clothes and his then girlfriend Marie Gravestone had been one of the few girls not to insult his hair. 

It saddened him in a way that such good people shied away from him, but it wasn’t truly their fault. If anything, it was _his_.

The playground blended in with the overgrown grass and trees; it was half a wild place. Fortunately, no animals from the forest came to it, or at least, Severus hadn’t come face to face with any of them. He went and sat on his old swing. He’d put some charms on both of the swings to make sure they held. While he didn’t know if any of the kids were bold enough to come and explore the playground, if they did, they deserved swings that would not crash under them just as they sat down.

Severus felt that someone was watching him before he saw them. It was a little girl, about eight to nine years old. It was strange; he hadn’t seen children under eleven for so long. Of course, he’d spotted Draco sometimes when meeting with Lucius, but he’d never stayed too long around the little monster. For Draco, was indeed a spoiled little brat. 

Children around Cokeworth usually ran as soon as they saw him, so Severus was surprised to see that the girl was observing him instead. She was peculiar and looked somewhat familiar, but he was too tired to try and figure where else he’d seen the kid even though he was sure he hadn’t.

He wondered if he should go when he saw her inch closer to the swings, but not yet entering the playground. However, she was just a little girl; nothing to be worried about, right? She would come closer, recognise him as the man from Spinner’s End her parents had warned her about and she would be on her way. And he’d be left alone. Severus had to bite back a smile when he saw her peek from behind the slide. She sure was a curious little kid. He worried a bit that she was alone at this time of the day, but he hoped her parents were nearby, somewhere. Severus realised he couldn’t leave even if he wanted to now, he couldn’t leave the child alone. The playground may have been safe once, and may still be safe now, but she was a little girl and he took his duty to care for the children under his care seriously, which currently included her somewhat even if many probably wouldn’t believe it.

There was always the disbelief if he showed the tiniest bits of care towards someone else, especially children. Of course, usually he didn’t, but when he did, he _had_ to have another reason, didn’t he? He couldn’t just care about the wellbeing of children, could he? It was a sad world he lived in, filled with prejudices and formed opinions he couldn’t change. Severus Snape, bat of the dungeons who scared children and made them cry. He looked at the girl again; she was staring at him intently. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him. Children had an interesting way of seeing the world. After being a teacher for so many years, they still surprised him, although in the most unpleasant ways most of the time.

Of course, he could always read her mind if he really wanted to know what she was thinking about him, but he didn’t do it on children. Not even at Hogwarts, never on children. He could read them well enough without dwelling in their minds. Besides, his students weren’t quite children anymore, were they? They were going into their teenage years and Severus remembered those years. No, going in their minds was a big no-go. He turned his attention back to the girl and noticed her frowning at him. Severus tilted his head, once again curious at her behaviour. She turned her eyes away from him and looked around the playground.

‘ _She’s going to notice we’re alone and she will go,’_ he thought, but not even a second later, she took a step forward, coming closer to the swings. ‘ _Is she going to come here?’_ What kind of a little girl came close to a strange man in an abandoned playground, just a few hours away from dusk? Severus inadvertently thought, ‘ _Gryffindors’_ and yet the girl was barely nine and a Muggle. He focused his eyes on the ground, perhaps if he ignored her, she would go away. Although, he probably would have to follow her to make sure she got home safe. Under a Notice Me Not charm, of course. He wouldn’t want the kid to be scared about him following her, like a …. creep. But then what she was doing here alone?

Unfortunately, it seemed that she wasn’t leaving. He looked up again and she was standing two metres away from him, a ball in her hand. She’d come _here_ to play alone? He fought the urge to shake his head. How often he’d come to the playground by himself at a similar hour when he was a kid? More times than he could count. He watched her; she seemed unafraid of him. He didn’t know if to admire her bravery or chastise her for her foolishness. He was more inclined to reprimand the girl, but that would open the floor for discussions. Severus didn’t want to talk with anyone. He just wanted to be left alone. He would soon go back to Hogwarts anyway and besides, he was wary to start talking with a kid, considering his reputation in the town. Everyone thought the worst of him.

“Hello Mister! Are you sad?” 

If anything, Severus didn’t expect those words to come from her. He blinked a couple of times, he was certain he had heard her right. He didn’t know what to do, he’d hoped she would go away. He was thinking to leave, and throw a concealing charm on himself, but she was faster. He tried to stand up when she spoke.

“No, stay,” she said. “That’s my favourite swing. It always makes me feel better if I swing in it. Do you want me to push you?”

Her favourite swing? That meant she must have come to the playground as often as he had as a kid. She was a peculiar child, and it made Severus' lips twitch in a sad attempt of a smile.

“I think I may be too heavy for you,” he told her, barely concealing a chuckle. He tried to look approachable; he didn’t want her to get scared, not if she’d come so far from behind that yellow slide. 

“Do you wanna play ball with me?”

Severus cocked his head to the side. Was she seriously asking him to play with her? _Him_? Him, the bat of the dungeons? Hadn’t her parents warned her against him? Severus figured she must be a visitor to Cokeworth, there was no other way. 

“Play ball with you?” he asked, genuine surprise slipping into his voice. No one had asked him that in a long time. So long that he barely remembered it. 

“Yes. See?” She held up her green ball before throwing it. “Catch!” 

He caught it easily and then threw it back to her, not moving from the swing. “Maybe another day,” Severus murmured. He was in a way flattered and happy that she wasn’t running away; he could see in her eyes the pure intent to cheer him up, but he wasn’t truly in the mood to play.

Severus expected her to get upset at him for refusing her, however she surprised him once again. She smiled at him instead.

“Okay.” She went and sat down in the swing next to him. Severus had to fight the urge to bolt and leave her there. “I haven’t seen you before. Are you new?” she continued, unaware of his inner turmoil. She was aggravating, but at the same time, he could see she was just a little curious kid. 

‘ _New? Child, if only you knew._ ’ Not that he was that old, he just felt that way. 

“I’m anything but new,” he answered in the end, and Severus inwardly cringed at the sharpness in his voice. “I came back.” 

‘ _Came back? Came back from where?’_ Severus almost sighed at his awkwardness. She was a child; he dealt with children the majority of his life. 

And yet, his next words were not how he meant them to be.“You ask too many questions! Where are your parents, little girl?” He saw her shrink back a little at his change in tone, and was filled with regret.

It seemed that his initial Gryffindor association was right, for the girl answered him in turn.

“I am _not_ little. I am nine, almost ten. My parents are close by.” She pointed to the closest house.

Severus tilted his head to the side. He knew that house. The Grangers. Of course, that was why the girl seemed so familiar to him and why she was so kind and curious. Marie and Robert were her parents. She was a little Marie in all senses of the word.

“I see. Marie and Robert Granger?” 

“Do you know them?” she asked, and Severus smiled sadly at her. The only kids who had not mocked him for who he was or how he looked were her parents. But he couldn’t tell her that, could he?

“I grew up here,” was all he said before turning his gaze away from, trying to remember the last time he’d spoken or even seen them.

“I’m Hermione.” She jumped off the swing and stood in front of him, extending her hand to him.

Severus studied it, wondering if she intended for him to shake it. Logically, he knew that was what she probably meant, but he couldn’t help but question her intentions. And yet, she had very kind parents. In the end, recounting the many times he’d extended his own hand only to be refused, he decided to take this step and risk it.

“Severus.” 

It seemed safe to say just his first name. He knew that even if her parents had been kind, they surely must have warned her about the Snape guy, so he didn’t want to chance her running. Not now. It would hurt, after seeing her being so brave. 

“Severus! That is a Roman name, isn’t it? A name shared with some emperors. I like it!”

He smiled at her enthusiasm; she was entertaining. 

“You’d be the first. I think Hermione is a fitting name for a young lady like yourself as well.”

There, that was a good conversation going. 

“You’d be the first to think _that_ , too,” she retorted, and Severus couldn’t help but wonder, who had hurt her. He had to contain his frustration that yet again, someone so young had to find out how the world saw those more different than them. Probably that was the reason she was alone in the playground and talking with him instead of playing with children her age. But she really shouldn’t remain on her own.

“You should not be alone, even if you’re nine. That is not nearly old enough. Who knows who you’ll meet?” He tried to convey to her how dangerous it could be, although by the look in her eyes, he was sure that she knew and realised exactly what were the dangers. Just like him when he’d been a kid. The playground always won in the end. It provided a much needed peace.

She grinned at him. “I met you!” For Severus that was way too enthusiastic. A child who was happy to see him? But of course, she hadn’t met his Professor Snape persona, had she? She just met Severus, who spoke little words and tried to get her to go home safely.

“Yes, and I could be a very bad man. Haven’t your parents told you not to speak with strangers?” He was sure Robert and Marie had done so, but it seemed that Hermione had inherited their courage and empathy. 

“Yes, they did. I watched you first. Bad men don’t look sad; they’re never sad. You looked like you needed a friend.”

So that was why she’d analysed him in the beginning. She was smart, but then, he’d already guessed that. And yet, he couldn’t help but be surprised at her logic. Bad people could look sad too, if they acted well enough. He’d seen plenty of them, although he could tell they were faking it, perhaps she could tell he was genuine. Severus hadn’t even realised that he looked sad.

“You watched me and you decided I am not a bad man? That was it? And now, supposedly you want to be my friend?”

No one wanted to be his friend. Especially children. Why was this girl so different? She couldn’t truly be, could she?

“Yes.” And yet, she seemed so genuine in her answer. To Severus, there was no doubt she meant her words, but he didn't know how to deal with it. It was too much. He needed to go and clear his head, somewhere far away from her curious eyes. Nonetheless, he couldn’t leave and let her in the playground by herself. 

“I think you should go home. I’m leaving.”

He saw her blanch at his tone and Severus once again regretted his sharp tone of voice. He really didn’t want to sound as mean as he did. However, he was happy to note that she wasn’t backing down.

“I came here to have fun since I am leaving Cokeworth tomorrow. You can leave now if you want; I’m staying.” She huffed and sat back in her swing. He found it amusing. 

She put the ball on the ground and tried to make herself go up in the air.

“If you’re not going, please push me?”

  
  


Severus sighed and stood up from his swing. What was the girl doing to him? He started to push her swing from behind. 

She looked up, smiling at him. Severus had to hold off a grin of his own. There were years since he’d played with someone in the playground. He wanted to say something to break off the silence, but he was at a loss for words. What could he say to be on the safe side?

“So, you’re not from Cokeworth.” There, that was a good sentence. 

“No, I came to visit. I’ll come next year for a couple of days. In two years, I won’t be here. We have our big family reunion, held every five years. I didn’t like the last one, so we’re not coming.”

He could tell that there was more to it than that, but he didn’t pry. Severus could very well guess why she didn’t like the family reunions. He remembered how posh and annoying Robert’s cousins and older brothers were, too. If they had passed it down to their children, no wonder Hermione didn’t feel like going to meet them. At least, her parents understood. Severus remained quiet for a while, not knowing what to say. What could he say anyway?

He continued to push her and for the first time, he marveled at the comfortable silence. He wondered if that was how people with friends felt. 

Severus pushed the swing for a couple of good minutes, until the sun began to set. He realised that he had to make her go home before her parents came looking for her. It wasn’t perhaps his best decision, but he quite liked his little friend. Children had a way of seeing life and others, differently. For once, someone didn’t judge him for who he was, what he was called or the colour of his clothes. And most importantly, she didn’t know about the snake tattoo from his left arm. A tattoo that would brand him forever and one that he would forever regret. 

After a while, he decided it was enough. “We both ought to go, it is getting late.”

“Only if you play ball with me next year,” was her response and he couldn’t help it, he smiled at her. She really had a one-track mind and it was adorable.

‘ _Oh no! Don’t tell me now I tolerate kids?’_ However, secretly, he enjoyed it. It felt like having a friend. 

”If you remember,” he muttered; he didn’t want to have too much hope. He always got disappointed in the end if he hoped. And yet, he allowed himself to hope.

He watched her nod at him and hop off the swing. Severus bent down and reached the ball before she could and with a smile he threw it off at her and motioned for her to go home.

“You better go straight home,” he said. “I will watch you.”

She grinned at him. “I will. Thank you, Severus!”

_Thank you, Severus_. He didn’t think he’d hear those words said by anyone else than Albus, not with true genuine affection. The girl really was something else. He knew that the old man cared and meant his words, but Albus also had expectations of him, wanted him to do something, to own up. Hermione Granger, nine-year-old extraordinaire had just one expectation for him: to come back next year and play ball with her.

Severus found that he liked that expectation much better than being ready to take the spy mantle again or the fact that he had to be the worst teacher in history. It was an easier and much more innocent request. And truly he’d had fun. If he could call it that. It’d been interesting to completely let go of everything that worried him, even if just for a few minutes. They were good minutes. The girl didn’t ask awkward questions and seemed pretty smart for her age, with good observational skills. Of course, that didn’t stop her for resembling a foolish Gryffindor, but it was something to admire.

Nonetheless, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Robert and Marie had exited the Granger house and had come to greet her. Thankfully, she didn’t turn to look at him and by the fact that her parents didn’t look towards the playground he realised that she hadn’t told them about him. Severus didn’t know how to feel about that. In a way, he understood why and he was relieved, but in another, he was a teacher and he knew that she should have told them.

However, there was still time. Perhaps, she didn’t want to tell them when he was still watching. He could see that, her being thoughtful like that, after all, he hadn’t been the most social butterfly. 

Severus felt the loss of warmth when she disappeared from his line of sight. He hadn’t realised that he missed having someone to call a friend that much. Little Miss Hermione Granger had made him aware of how beautiful that feeling was, to have someone, a friend. 

And yet, she was a child. Could he even be sure that she’d remember him next year? Could he be sure that she’d continue to care? Or that her parents would even bring her back?

He really didn’t know, but for the first time in a long while, Severus let himself hope.

It may be a foolish thing to do, based off just a few moments of chatting, but it was more than he’d ever thought he’d get and that, that was what made him hope.


	2. Chapter 1, First Day

**Chapter One**

Severus wondered if the year could have passed any slower. Of course, he usually looked forward to the end of each term and more to the end of the school year, but this time, in particular, it seemed to go slower than in any other year. The exams took longer even if the timing stayed the same, Dumbledore had a longer speech at the feast and the breakfast was served too late. Even the final staff meeting dragged on and on.

He knew it wasn’t normal to be this eager to go back to Cokeworth, but he felt that it was innocent enough to wish for a friend. And he didn’t know why, but Hermione at all of her nine years of age, felt like a friend. Surely, he wasn’t going to spill his life secrets onto her shoulders, not that he could, considering the Statute of Secrecy, but somehow, Severus could feel that she was trustworthy and a very possible friend. One could say it was perhaps silly and very fast, exceptionally rushed, but it was how he felt about the strange situation he found himself in. Something not new for him, but it’d been long forgotten. Of course, there was the chance that she forgot him and that he’d go back to either an empty park or he’d see the pretense of surprise in her eyes. However, he hoped that she would remember, she seemed such a determined kid. He didn’t know how long he would stay, but he packed for a few days. It was good to be prepared.

Picking up his suitcase, Severus Snape Apparated back to his childhood home at Spinner's End. 

It was pitch dark when he arrived, the street barely lit. The lamppost in front of his house wasn’t working, and the last time Severus had seen it working was more than twenty years ago. He’d wanted to run several more potions in his lab in the dungeons before he left for the summer and he’d stayed longer than he’d anticipated. It always somehow happened when he went inside the lab. Potions were truly fascinating. Then again, considering he Apparated outside, perhaps coming back late which meant it was dark was a good thing. 

He stood with his suitcase in front of the house, looking over at it. Same look, but aged a little more. Nothing had changed around really, Spinner’s End was quiet as usual. He looked around, there was no one. His neighbours were far apart enough not to see him, especially since the light was so dim. Slowly, he reached towards the gate, his hand twisting on the cold metal. As a child, he’d disliked the house and coming back here every summer wasn’t something he’d enjoyed, even more so after his fifth year. However, times had changed and now he looked fondly at his old house. It was consolidated with magic, and had a large basement where he had another lab.

In fact, there were two potion laboratories in the house. One in the basement, the main one, and one in the attic, a mini-lab, near his office. His mother had loved books, a passion that she’d passed over to him, and they had collected over the years a beautiful library inside the house. No, the place wasn’t bad at all. Not anymore. It was his home away from home.

His thoughts wandered again towards the strange girl he’d met at the playground. Was he really warranted to go back and check on her? He felt like he should, and yet, she _was_ a strange little girl. Perhaps he’d have to meet and talk with Robert and Marie about letting her be on her own for so long. 

Severus sighed. Tonight there was no moon, just stars. He could hear the crickets in the grass, he was the only person outside. It was beautiful, but he was tired. He opened the door and stepped inside, locking it behind him. Putting his suitcase on the floor, Severus took out his wand. 

“Lumos,” he whispered and the darkness was chased away by light. 

And as with the outside, the inside was exactly as he remembered from last year. No tint of dust in sight, since Albus had loaned him a Hogwarts elf to clean before his arrival. Severus smiled bitterly. In the past, he’d been the one to clean everything. He went to flick on the light switch, even if the curtains were drawn, maintaining a Lumos was not sustainable. 

“Nox.”

The light was a bit brighter than the spell and it took his eyes a bit to adjust. However, he basked in the familiarity of the room.

The house wasn’t big, but it wasn’t exactly small either. It has the basement with the lab, a bedroom, a kitchenette, and a little bathroom—a small apartment on its own. No one had access there but him. Then there was the ground floor where there was a huge living room, a kitchen, and the guest bedroom and bathroom. His mother had loved the living room area and had added a bookcase and a decorative chandelier. At the back, there were the stairs leading up to the first floor which was almost entirely occupied by a library. It also had a bathroom and another office room. The second floor had the master bedroom and his own bedroom with a bathroom, while the attic, his office, and the second potion lab.

However, to everyone looking at it, you’d say the inside was just as old and forgotten as the outside, but that wasn't the case. It was a big house, just for him. And he’d contemplated selling it many times over, but his heart wouldn’t let him. It was…. his legacy. If nothing else, the house, the library and labs inside, were what he had, beyond his salary deposited each year in a Gringotts account. 

Severus took off his cloak and went towards the kitchen. He’d foregone dinner in his haste to leave faster, considering that he’d already lost so much time inside the dungeons lab. He decided for a quick sandwich, and a cup of tea. He usually didn't eat much at dinner anyways.

The next day towards the evening, Severus went to the playground, feeling nervous for the first time in years. He hadn’t been this nervous ever since his first week teaching at Hogwarts, when he’d come to the realisation that with the exception of the first years, he’d be teaching his former fellow students. No, this time, however, it was different. He was going to meet a kid he’d first seen a year ago, based on a silly little promise. And yet, was it really that silly?

He was getting close to the playground, when he heard sounds of kids playing. _‘That’s peculiar.’_ He’d never heard this many kids before. However, he soon realised, they weren’t playing.

“Look who it is! Weird Bossy Granger!”

Severus quickened his pace. There were five of them, bringing back oh so painful memories, and they were shouting things at a little girl that Severus knew. Hermione was trying to walk past them and he could see she was trying not to let their words affect her.

“Done any more freakish things?” 

“Oooh! Everyone run! Windy will break us all! Maybe she’ll ruin our ball. She always ruins our fun. Maybe she ought to pay! And this time you cannot hide. No more granny nanny with you!”

  
  


“What do you think you’re doing? Leave her alone, you insolent brats!”

His inner professor voice had come to surface. If they were to be at Hogwarts he’d have added a detention or two.

They all turned as one upon hearing him, seemingly frozen in fear. ‘ _Good, they should be afraid,’_ he thought. However, unlike them, Hermione smiled at him. He supposed that she indeed had reasons to smile. 

“Get out of here before I take you all to your parents!”

They all ran away as fast as they could and Severus was grateful for once for his bad reputation. Scared the brats away.

“Are you alright?” he asked her, and bent down to pick up the green ball from near his feet. She’d probably dropped it when they’d cornered her. 

She nodded at him, and Severus breathed a sigh of relief.

“I am now. Thank you! They seemed to know you. Do you live here? I have never seen you before last year.”

Severus frowned. 

“You wouldn’t; I spend most of the year away.”

“Where do you live? Why did they look so scared?”

He sighed and shook his head. 

“Merlin, you ask so many questions. I live on Spinner’s End. My name is Severus Snape. I am certain your grandparents had warned you about me.”

She knew of him, he was sure. He could read it on her face, he could see it in his eyes. She’d heard of him, she’d been warned. Severus’ heart skipped a bit at the thought that she might leave as fast as the other kids did. Or that she might make an excuse to not play with him any longer. It was barely a minute, but to him it seemed much longer. 

“They did,” she eventually said. That was it. She’d leave any moment. And then, she surprised him again with her next words.

“But now you’re my friend. You saved me. Those kids are always nasty to me. Thank you for stepping in.”

He looked at her intensely, trying to see if she meant her words and she did. For the first time in a long while, he smiled and threw the ball towards her.

“I think you owe me a game,” he said.

Hermione grinned at him, before catching the ball and throwing it back. They soon moved towards the playground, or rather inside of it and continued their back and forth game. It was weird, he’d never played like this when he was a kid. He’d never felt comfortable asking other kids to play with him either. And yet, with Hermione everything seemed so natural. He didn’t have to fake pretend or force things. He had something to smile about, finally. He had a friend.

“Will you be back tomorrow too?” 

Severus blinked at her, smiling again. “Of course. I spend the majority of my summer here. I’ll come everyday if you want me to.” Where had that come from? Every day? He sounded so clingy. 

But it seemed the right thing to say for Hermione beamed at him.

“Amazing!” She clapped her hands, making Severus chuckle.

“Do you think you can push me on the swing again?” she asked, marching towards her, no, _their_ favourite swing. 

“Very well.” He took the ball from her hands and watched as she gripped the chains. Then he started gently pushing the swing, watching the sunset.

“You know,” he said, maintaining the lightness in his voice, “tomorrow we should meet much earlier. This is the second time, you’re out alone so close to dark.”

“But I am not alone!” She tilted her head on the side, looking straight into his eyes. Severus found that he couldn’t look away. “I am with you Severus!”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Do your parents know that? For some reason, I don’t think they’d agree for you to hang out with me.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” she retorted, but Severus could see understanding in her eyes.

“You know why. You’re smart enough, I believe. Hope too. I don’t like associating myself to dunderheads.”

She looked away. “I _do_ know. That’s why I haven’t told them yet. If they see I am safe with you, and that you’d already been with me several times, they will understand.”

He stopped pushing the swing and moved to sit in front of her. Crouching down, he took her hands in his.

“And you may be right, and it is a good plan, using logic against them, but to them, right now, you’re out here, playing alone again. It’s natural for them to worry that you’re staying so late. I know I am not a danger to you, but I could very well have been. That’s what your parents worry about. I think you should tell them sooner rather than later. Otherwise, I’ll have to tell them myself, understood?”

Severus inwardingly winced at his change of voice. He’d been doing so well. Earlier, while playing ball, she’d also started a twenty question discussion and he’d been snarky at best. He’d been downright rude when she’d asked if he had other friends and why did he wear black.

He could see that she was remembering his rudeness too.

“Alright, Sev.”

“Don’t call me Sev!” He barked, standing up, removing his hands from hers. She was getting too close.

“Alright, Severus. But don’t be so snarky!”

He gave her an apologetic smile.

“That’s how I am. I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed if you expect otherwise.”

Severus watched as she jumped off the swing and took the ball from the ground where he’d dropped it earlier.

“I am not expecting anything. Now, come, you’ve convinced me. Time to go home.”

He allowed himself a sigh of relief at her tone. She wasn’t upset or hurt by his words. 

Later that night, Severus allowed himself to dream. He only hoped that when she finally told her parents they won’t ban her from seeing him or keep her away. Robert and Marie had always been rational people, they will see to the logic that he hadn’t hurt their daughter and had no intention to, surely?

He could only hope, really. That was all.

It never occurred to him he'd forgotten to register the bully's comments about her freakishness.


	3. Chapter 2, Second Day

**Chapter Two**

  
  


They’d decided to meet around lunch and spend the afternoon together in the playground. So naturally, Severus woke up at an abnormally early hour. It was still a long time until lunch and yet, he could feel himself getting nervous.  _ Again. _

He wished she wouldn’t bring his vulnerable side out, but Hermione was something special. The kid really didn’t judge him. For anything.

Severus set off to make some pastries and sandwiches for the lunch meeting. It would be good to have them as snacks and it would also help passing the time till then.

Around half past eleven, he put everything he’d prepared in a basket and headed off towards the playground. He wondered what she would think of his cooking skills.

“Severus!” she shouted and he smiled— _ again— _ at her. Of course, smiling had become almost normal in the presence of one Hermione Granger.

“Hello,” he said curtly. “I brought several snacks, if you get hungry later!” He went and put the basket near the swings.

“Ooh, that’s great! I didn’t have lunch!” she went and opened it, picking one of the salad chicken sandwiches. 

Severus frowned at her. “You didn’t have lunch? How come?”

She shrugged at him while munching her food. “I had a late breakfast, I had to finish this book when I woke up and then I went to eat. I told my parents, I am going out to play and they were so happy I am not staying inside anymore, just reading that they said I can skip lunch. But you brought lunch, so I am not skipping it anymore!”

She went and sat down on the swing, motioning for him to come as well. “Did you have lunch, Severus?”

“No, I didn’t,” he said, realising he’d been too busy cooking to actually eat. 

“Come then! We can have a picnic!” Hermione suggested.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm and after getting a sandwich himself, he sat down in the other swing.

“I take it you haven’t told your parents about me yet.”

“Not yet.”

Severus sighed. He really wished she’d had. And yet, he wasn’t marching down her house to tell them himself anytime soon. Wizard or not, he didn’t want to need to defend himself. Of course, they had nothing to fear, he’d never hurt Hermione, but they didn’t know that. All they would see was Snape, Spinner’s End resident, getting close and personal with their little girl. He barely suppressed a wince. That sounded so wrong, even in his head. Looking at her, he noticed that she was analysing him again.

“I do hope you’re not making a habit of eating food that strangers offer to you,” he commented. 

Next to him he heard her sigh. It seemed that she’d pondered the subject as well. That or she was tired of his allusions.

“No, I don’t! But you’re not a stranger, are you?”

Seeing her brown eyes look at her with trust, Severus forced the biting remark down. He settled for something nice.

“I suppose I am not.”

One minute of silence, then she spoke again. At times he really wished he could read her mind. The girl had different reactions than all the other children he knew.

“I will tell my parents about you tonight. I just… didn’t want them to stop me. Don’t be mad.”

He wasn’t, not really. She was still a child, even if a very intelligent one. She still saw the world through innocent eyes and Severus appreciated that about her. And yet, he could see that she knew why exactly she was delaying telling her parents; they would be vary of him and Severus couldn’t blame them. He would do the exact same thing if the question came about his own child.

“I’m not mad, silly girl. It’s for your own good after all,” he murmured. Severus tried at best not to sound snarky or crossed with her, but so far, despite his attempts, his voice tone resembled a quite angry person. Left over from classes he hoped. He really wasn’t angry. In fact, this was the most relaxed he’d been.

“Sooo, what are we doing today?”

The question came unexpectedly and for a moment Severus, didn’t know what to say. “Whatever you wish. You asked me here, remember?”

She suddenly looked way younger than her ten years old.

“Maybe we just talk? You cut off our twenty questions early.”

Severus pretended to sigh. “Yes. But if you repeat questions, I will be upset.”

“I have a very good memory,” was her answer. Only years later, Severus would come to understand how true her words were.

“But I want you to start! Ask me anything!”

Thinking back to the day he first met her, Severus pondered his question carefully.

“Last year, you said you didn’t like your last family reunion. Why?”

He could see by the look on her face that she didn’t appreciate his question that much. Inwardly, Severus smirked. If she thought he’d go for easy questions she had another thing coming. 

“Huff. Because of my cousins. They don’t like me.”

So that was what it was. His initial hunch had been unfortunately correct. It seemed that Robert’s cousins had passed down their atrocious behaviour upon their children as well. Severus was very glad Hermione had had such a healthy influence in both her parents. Robert and Marie were truly good and gifted people.

“They’re brats.”

Her laughter surprised him.

“You don’t like children much, do you?”

_ ‘Oh, where to start.’  _ For he really, did not.

“No, I don’t. Children are loud, messy, disrespecting the rules, and don't have any respect for their teachers. Always running around the hallways, calling names.” He could have dragged on and on, but the expression on her face stopped him.

“Do they call you names? They call me names too. You heard them.” The sadness in her voice almost made Severus cry and his heart went out for her. He knew what she was going through and that made it all day way worse for him.

He stretched his arm across the space between the swings and took her hand in his. She looked at him, brown eyes, looking sadder than he’d seen them.

“Yeah, they call me names,” he murmured, and saw how she turned and grabbed his hand with her other one.

“My mother said that it’s very sad that they feel the need to mock others to fill their own happiness.”

Yes, Marie would say that. She’d said that many years back when she’d defended him in school. Before Lily, Marie and Robert had been there. And after Lily too, when they came home from their studies. 

“Wise woman, your mother. You should listen to her. She knows what she’s saying. Your cousins are mean. They’re jealous of you.”

“Jealous? What do they have to be jealous of?”

Of course, insecurities. Everyone had them, but Severus hated the break in her voice when she asked him.

“Because you’re special Hermione. You’re smart and I know that because what 10 year old has already read Austen and Shakspeare? And actually understands them?” he said, going back to their little game from yesterday. 

“They say that makes me a freak.”

Severus inwardly cursed the cruelty of children. If he saw those cousins of hers…

“No, it does not. It makes you brilliant.”

He raised his hands and cupped her chin, making her look straight in his eyes. “You understand, Hermione Jean Granger? It makes you brilliant.”

He let her go, her eyes were now shining with tears. “Thank you.”

Severus looked away. It was all too emotional for him now. Clearing his throat, he stood up from the swing. Almost immediately she stood up as well. Walking around fast, she gripped his jacket.

“No, stay. I’d like to push you this time.”

He gaped at her, eyes following where her little hand was tugging his clothes.

“I think I am a bit too heavy for you, little Hermione.” He echoed his own words from the year before. However, this time it seemed to be the wrong thing to say. She huffed and narrowed his eyes at him. He’d never seen that expression directed at him from a child. Of course, not face to face.

“I am not little. I’m not gonna push you high up, silly! Just a bit. You pushed me,” she said simply as if that explained her want to return the favour. It didn’t really, but Severus found himself not really caring about a further explanation. So he sat back down and let her push. She couldn’t really, despite her best attempts, he was indeed a little too heavy for her.

After around 15 minutes, it seemed that her hands were tired and she gave up. “Sorry, Severus,” she murmured. “You’re a bit… too heavy indeed.”

His head snapped backed into her direction, watching how her eyes how she was both a bit amused and a bit fearful. Why?

“If you’d have listened in the first place when I told you so,” he almost snapped. To his eternal shock, the fear left her eyes, and she giggled at him. 

“You’re not mad, that’s good.”

  
  


Severus frowned. “How do you know?” He’d noticed that since the year before, when she’d shrunk down at his voice, now she wasn’t. Not really. 

“Because I have observed you, even from last year. You sound more mean than you are. When you speak, if I listen, you’re nice. You were nice to me before I tried to be nice to you last year too.”

It took a moment, but Severus understood what she meant. It baffled him enormously how she could be so perceptive. Why were the children at Hogwarts so obtuse and without fault purely dunderheads?

He had the feeling that she would still be a foolish Gryffindor, if he had to place any bets. But she’d be the smartest of them all. 

It seemed that the afternoon had flown out of the window. Soon enough all the food was eaten and they’d discussed their favourite Charles Dickens book. Severus found it completely ridiculous considering her young age, but prodigies were something real after all. 

“Will you show me where you live?” Her question was a little short of breath, they’d run one after another in a one to one game of tag. Severus was glad no one else had been there to see him lose to a ten year old. Who could have thought that she could run that fast?

Severus blinked at her and wondered what he could answer. His whole house was protected by magical charms, but it was in a Muggle neighborhood and of course, Muggles could come in. But did he want her to come in? He’d have to hide all the magical books for one. And there was the fact that she was ten and it was creepy. Especially since her parents still didn’t know.

“I can show you,” he said in the end. “But you’re not coming inside until you tell your parents. Even better if you ask them to accompany you.”

He could tell that she wasn’t exactly pleased by his answer. “They won’t agree. You know that.”

“I also know I wouldn’t like my daughter going alone in a stranger’s house,” he bit back and she smiled. 

Severus had to do a double take. Smiled? Why was she smiling?

“See, right now you just passed the test.”

“Test?” She was indeed very confusing. 

“I will tell my parents. You don’t even have to show it to me this evening. We can do that tomorrow. While you also could get me some ice cream.”

Hearing her speak Severus realised her intentions. She hadn’t truly wanted to visit today, she’d wanted to see his response. Another point to make when she’d tell her parents.

“What time should I come?” was all he said in the end. 

She grinned at him, clapping her hands. “After breakfast! They’d want to meet with you soon.” But then, her grin fell and she turned her head on the side.

“What now?” he asked, trying not to sound cross at her mood change.

“We might have to leave early.”

“How come?”

He didn’t know if to feel relieved or sad. Severus knew that their friendship wasn’t natural by any means, if he’d been less lonely… He needed time to process it. And yet, he remembered from last year that she won’t come back to Cokeworth for the next two years. 

“My parents need to go back to work earlier than intended. _ ” _

“Well, that’s nothing either of us can do. Let’s take you home.” 

He extended his hand towards hers, hoping to make up for the fact that he was a little short with her. By her eyes, he could tell that she knew he wasn’t really upset. He appreciated her inner sight.

Severus walked her until near her gate entrance, before quickly moving and disappearing out of sight. 

“Bye Severus!” were words carried by the wind, but he didn’t turn his head to acknowledge them.

It was hard to settle this feeling of friendship with the weirdness of the situation, but he’d ponder it after he left Cokeworth. Hermione didn’t deserve his demons on top of everything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

Next morning Severus was more nervous than he’d been in his life if that was even possible considering he’d spied on the Dark Lord at threat of death if found. It was more the case that he knew that Hermione had really meant when she’d said she’d tell her parents and he’d meant his when he’d said he’d do it if she didn’t.

How could he explain the situation to them? That after he’d lost everything, he’d latched onto Hermione like a bird to water in the middle of the desert. In a strange weird way, he’d made a friend. They would worry about his intentions, as any good parents would but how could he assure them he never had any intentions to ever hurt their daughter? That he truly meant to be just a friend. 

He hoped they would understand, somehow. Robert and Marie had always been level headed people. They’d see through him.

As he’d expected, they were already there when he arrived at the playground the next day. 

They were looking at him with wary eyes, appraising him, but he didn’t see real judgement either. They were willing to hear his side. Or at least talk it out; he didn’t know what Hermione had told them exactly. 

He could see that Hermione was sitting on the swing, looking at him encouragely. He opened his mouth to speak, but Robert beat him to it.

“Severus Snape.”

“Robert Granger,” he answered in the same manner. “Let’s walk a bit to the left,” he said, motioning for them to move further away from Hermione’s ears. He had no doubt that she was attempting to eavesdrop. 

As soon as they were far enough away, Marie took control of the conversation. She’d never been the one to beat around the bush after all. 

“What do you want with our daughter?” 

A question he’d been expecting, good. What wasn’t good, he didn’t quite know how to answer.

“Nothing,” he said in the end.

“Then why did you come to hang out with her? She said you brought food yesterday?” this time it was Robert who spoke and he was right, of course.

“She makes a good friend.”

Severus turned, fully facing the two of them. He had to choose his next words carefully.

“Look, I know why you’re worried and I understand. I am not looking for anything. I am not expecting anything out of her. She found me last year, in a particular moment where I was mourning my own existence so to say.” He could barely get the words out, he wasn’t used to telling anyone about his feelings. However, they deserved his honesty. “When I came back this year, I didn’t know what to expect. The very fact that I hoped she’d come back too, I know it’s weird. But she treated me once, as someone normal. Even if I saw that she’d been warned against my name.” 

Both of them looked a bit ashamed of the fact. “Severus,” Marie started, but he stopped her.

“No, let me finish. I am not an open person. For everyone who knows me. I am not a nice person either. But Hermione is different. We spent yesterday talking about Charles Dickens. She doesn’t ask for more than I am not willing to offer, somehow she picks up when I don’t want to talk. But the fact that had made me want to see her again was the fact that she isn’t asking for anything unlike anyone else I’ve ever met.”

He stops after that, mind turning to all the times friendship had been nothing more but an exchange for services or loyalty in his Hogwarts years. Severus noticed Robert and Marie looking at one another, and for the first time in a while, many firsts he’d had these days, he felt shy. He’d opened up basically to strangers in hope that they’d let him hang out with their kid. How desperate was that?

“And you swear that you don’t have any other intentions? Any other…. Urges?”

“I don’t, what—?” His voice trembled and he felt shaky inside. Disgusted and horrified at the question, but could he truly fault them their worries? 

He started shaking his head frantically. “No, never. I would never. I’m a teacher and I—”

Severus stops himself however, hadn’t there been monster teachers? To his eternal surprise both Grangers started laughing. 

“Excuse me,” he said a little harsher than intended,”but I fail to see what is that you find amusing. A second ago you were asking me if my intentions towards your daughter were sexual.”

His words sobered them up, reminding them what was at stake. Imaginary stake, considering he’d never do anything of the sorts, but stake nonetheless. 

“You’re right. Our apologies,” Rober said. “But you see, our Hermione… She’s always had trouble making friends. She always got along better with her teachers. When she started telling us last night that she’d made a new friend, we were ecstatic.”

“Until you found out that it was a man your age and Severus Snape from Spinner’s End,” he interjected. He could see what they’d laughed. Their daughter was a teacher’s pet of sorts and he, her new friend, was also a teacher.

“Yes.” It was Marie who responded. “Finding out that you’re a teacher, it’s a complete surprise.”

“I haven’t told her,” he commented. She never asked anyway.

“We figured,” Robert said wryly. “Look Severus, jokes aside, I am sure you understand our worries. Hermione has told us you’d encouraged her to tell us about you.”

And he’d had. For the exact reason and questions they were asking. He wanted them to know he was no danger to them. To her.

“But,” Marie interjected and it occurred to Severus how in tune the two were to each other. From their teenage days to the current day, always in sync, “we still worried. Some play the long con.”

He knew that too. But he didn’t speak, hoping that she’d say something more. And she did.

“However, I don’t believe you are. I do find it strange if I am honest, and perhaps if I think too much, creepy, that you and her are friends. At the same time, I know how lonely you’d been when we were all kids and I have seen the same loneliness in my daughter. For the past two days she’s been at her happiest and I know it’s because of you. I’ve also never seen you so open. Years may have passed since I last saw you, but I don’t think that’s the kind of thing that changed about you. I don’t know if it makes me an irresponsible mother, but I will entrust my daughter to you today as well.”

Severus doesn’t know what to say. ‘ _ Thank you for believing I’m not a creep preying onto your daughter?’ _

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Robert said before he could open his mouth. 

“Yes, she mentioned yesterday,” Severus answered, thinking he’d thank them a bit later.

“My brother has found out that we’re not coming to the next year’s reunion party so he’d decided to come here and try to convince us otherwise. I don’t want to put Hermione through that.”

“So you’ve told her you have work to go back to.” Severus surmised that it was a good idea. 

“We’re going to leave in the morning. Today you can spend all day with her. We,” Severus noticed Marie gripping Robert’s hand as she spoke, “we trust you.”

He looked at them, trying to think of words to express how much it meant to hear that. They trusted him.

“Thank you.” Not enough, but all he can say.

“Take care of my little girl.” Robert’s voice was playing, but Severus knew better.

Before they turned to say their goodbyes to Hermione, he stopped them, motioning that he had something more to say.

“She wants to see my house.”

He didn’t know exactly why he was telling them. But he felt compelled to do so. 

“We know, “ Marie said.

So it had been a test. Or perhaps they trusted him enough to decide himself.

“But that’s your choice. Severus, Hermione can be very opinionated and persuasive once she’s gotten under your skin. She’s going to be your friend even if you let inside or not.”

He smiled, wondering how they had known his worries. They smiled back and they left, reaching Hermione who jumped out the swing to hug them. He saw them whispering something in her ear before they left, nodding at him.

Severus supposed now was his time to shine. Clearing his throat, he approached her.

“I told you they’d like you!”

He huffed. He wouldn’t say that they liked him, more that they tolerated and accepted him for her sake. However, he didn’t tell her any of that, settling for something safer.

“I think we said we’d get ice cream?”

She smiled at him; he’d said the right thing. Taking her hand in his, they left the playground. They had a full day ahead and Severus intended to make the most of it if she was to leave in the morning.

In the evening, he took her at Spinner’s End, but didn’t invite her inside. She hadn’t complained and he was glad. He couldn’t have given her a true answer as to why he didn’t want her to come in.

The time to give her back to her parents came soon enough and same with the next day. 

Time was moving too fast for Severus’ taste. As the clock ticked 8 am, he found himself back at the playground, this time to say goodbye. He couldn’t help but feel an immense sense of distaste for Robert’s brother and his children. But he was a grown man and he understood exactly why Hermione had to leave. He’d have chosen the same thing in their stead, to protect her from more hurt. Inadvertently they would have found out that she was hanging up with him and would tease her about it. 

“Don’t forget me,” she said, sniffing, hands covering her face. “I wish I could come back, but my cousins really hate me.”

He crouched down to her level.

“Hey, I won’t forget you. Don’t you forget me,” he retorted, taking her hand and grasping it. 

His voice was gentler than usual, for the first time letting the feeling set in. He truly had a friend. A friend he won’t be seeing for the next two years, but a friend nonetheless. 

She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her, wiping her tears with his hand. 

“I will see you in two summers! Don’t be late!” She sounded quite bossy.

He stood up and motioned for her to go home.

“I won’t be. I don’t like tardiness.”

He really didn’t. Years of students being late to class, one could say he had an allergic reaction to it. 

Severus watched her go into her parents’ car, remaining still as they drove off until he couldn’t see them any longer. It’d be two long years till he saw them again. He would have asked for their address, but he felt more time was needed until Robert and Marie agreed to it. When he’d brought Hermione home the day before, they’d told him they’d accept letters forwarded from their parents. They hadn’t even let him suggest it and in a way, Severus was grateful. He didn’t know if he was ready either.


	5. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

****

_Two years later_

  
  


Of course his life couldn’t be simple, could it? Hermione Granger had had to be a witch, hadn’t she? 

She was a witch and she’d come to Hogwarts to be a student and learn magic. After a year of conversing through letters only, Severus could say he’d learnt a great deal about the young girl. One thing she’d failed to mention were the strange incidents that must have happened around her as a result of accidental magic.

Thinking back to the second day he’d seen her, the bullies were commenting on her freakiness, but he’d gotten so caught up with everything that he’d forgotten. He’d almost choked on his food when Minerva had called out for her to be sorted. And of course, she’d been sorted into Gryffindor. How couldn’t she considering her actions? Severus wondered what the Sorting Hat believed of him now that he’d seen him in her memories?

He felt the moment she saw him, and looked at her in the eyes for a second before looking away. That’d been the start of the end for him. All year, he’d only shown her the Professor Snape persona, the same one he’d been once happy she didn’t know. He knew that he was being impossible, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what else to do. Her being a student changed everything. Didn’t it?

Sometimes he wished friendship would come with a manual. He settled to ignore her and pretend that her betrayed looks weren’t a stab to his own heart. He was snarky, he was rude and an awful teacher. Severus wondered if she’d even come next summer to meet with him, considering that now she knew who he was. How he was.

When she’d set his robes on fire, he’d been both impressed and hurt. Of course, he hadn’t done anything. If anything, it was his fault. She’d tried to behave as much normal as possible in his presence. She’d never been late to his classes, probably taking his comment to heart. 

It was with a heavy heart that he arrived at the playground that summer and he couldn’t help but feel relieved when he saw her waiting near the swings, looking at the ground.

“Miss Granger.”

He didn’t know why he’d called her that, but it got her attention. She turned her head onto his direction and taking deep breaths, she seemed to be trying her courage to speak.

Severus wished that wouldn’t be the case. He hoped her brave spirit was still intact, not afraid to speak her mind. 

“Professor Snape.” 

He flinched, he’d deserved it. He looked at her and wished for her to see how sorry he was for his behaviour. How abnormal he was for not knowing how to behave around her and simply chickening out and ignoring her completely.

“Severus,” she said, and he couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Perhaps, it wasn’t all lost. 

”Do you hate me?” she asked in a small voice and he found his heart breaking a little more, her words tugging at his conscience. 

  
  


He sighed and went to sit on the swing. Quietly, she joined him on the other, like the day they’d met. At least, that gave him hope.

“I do not hate you, Hermione. I wouldn’t have come here otherwise.” 

He didn’t say that it was impossible for him to hate her.

“All year you ignored me. Why did you come?”

”Because…” He gestured around, not knowing how to convey the fact that he still saw her as a friend.

“Because you pity me? Do you think it’s your duty to help me with those kids? I’m almost thirteen. I can deal with them, now I know I’m not a freak.”

He flinched again at her words, and twisted around on the swing to face her. How could he explain? He had to try, he knew that it was his fault for hurting her.

“I didn’t come here because I pity you. I know what you’re going through. Why do you think I was that weird kid from Spinner’s End? I know that you’re part of two worlds. Isn’t that why you came to the playground? I know more than you can imagine. I was different, even at Hogwarts; I had just one friend, and I lost her, too.”

Where had that come from? He’d avoided for a year not to talk about Lily in his letters and now it seemed to just spill out.

“I was your friend! Why did you ignore me if you empathised with me? Before that troll, I had no one. You built up my confidence two summers ago and you…” 

He grabbed her hand. She’d never know how sorry he was. Perhaps he should have gone to Albus for advice instead of deciding on his own.

“I know,” he whispered.” But I didn’t know how to act. You were a child when I last saw you, and then you came to Hogwarts as a teenager and I am your Professor. An adult befriending a child is problematic—a man and a young girl even more so. If he is her professor, the situation is worse—especially with my reputation.”

There, he could only hope she understood his situation. Especially since she knew exactly what everyone at Hogwarts thought about him. What her new best friends, Potter and Weasley thought too.

“I met you when I was nine and you pushed my swing. We just played ball two years ago. I understand you, but I don’t agree. You could have told me that, not faked ignorance. There’s only so much I can take. I set your robes on fire because I…”

“Didn’t trust me, I know. I also know from Albus that Potter and you suspected me to be going after the stone. That was when I realised that you not trusting me hurt. You’re the first person to be my friend in a long time. And the only one in a very long time who saw me in both the Muggle and Wizarding Worlds.”

And probably the only one who ever would.

“The friend you lost?” Hermione asked and he wondered how much more he’d tell her.

“Yes, the friend I lost. I met her in the hills near my house.”

“Am I a replacement?” 

He squeezed her hands, sadness overcoming him. Was that what she thought? ‘ _That’s what I get for mentioning Lily.’_ Some things were better left buried.

“No, Hermione, you’re not. You’re a cute child who is a sweet friend, but you’re not her and I would never take advantage of your friendship. That’s if you forgive me. You’d have to understand though, that I, Severus, merge with Professor Snape. We come from two separate worlds.”

She observed him in silence. He could tell that she understood his words, and if she wanted to ask more, Severus couldn’t say. But the acceptance in her eyes meant everything to him.

“Yes. You’re only human. And so am I. We make mistakes. Everyone needs a friend; I’m yours.” She put her other hand on the top of his. “I was always part of two worlds. I can be Hermione your friend, here in the playground, and Miss Granger at Hogwarts, in the Wizarding World. However, I wish one day people would see you from my perspective, and then we could blend the two worlds.”

He felt the need to protest, no one could know, but she raised her hand to stop him before he even opened his mouth.

“Not now, but later. When I’m older.” 

Severus nodded, knowing that that was probably never going to happen. There was still so much she didn’t know about him. He resolved that he’d tell her in time.

“Now,” she said, standing up, all the while holding his hand, “I think _you_ owe me a game.”

He grinned at her and stood up as well. “That I do, indeed.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
